life with children is a pinball machine

What would the life of a mom look like with self-regulating children? Not the self-direction that involves helping oneself to a handful of pretzels five minutes after you've announced that dinner will be served in fifteen minutes.

The autonomy I am talking about involves hanging up wet towels after a shower or
understanding that "ten more minutes" means ten more minutes and then the computers are turned off.

I'm talking about children who grasp the morning routine some time before their 18th birthday or
who understand that taking a shower involves soap and who do not get upset when they have to shower again after "forgetting" to use soap. 

The independence that I pine for involves a child who knows how to use the napkins in his lunchbox (can anyone else's children use the same - paper - napkin for the entire school year?) or
who doesn't tell me that the show is almost over when it's 6:35 and, clearly, the show has only been on for five minutes.


Is it my memory or the fact that I have four children that inhibits my ability to keep order in my house?  Usually, when people say "I don't know how you do it - I can hardly manage with two, or one", my reaction is - we all have the same struggles. We're all busy moms.  I just have more pinballs in my pinball machine.  

Lately, I am beginning to question that theory.  Can I really fall back on: "Yeah. I have four and my life is harder."?  Is that why I cannot get my children to make sure their wet towels are off the carpet, the toilets are flushed, all cabinets are closed, and all drawers pushed shut?

Is the fact that I have four children the reason why I cannot ensure that all my children have brushed their teeth or had breakfast before we leave the house in the morning?

Is this why I need to rely on charts and checking off completed items and an award system?  And is the fact that those charts never work for very long a sign of my impending failure to establish order.... again?

Does anyone else "forget" what their children are "supposed to do" before they leave the house or go to sleep at night and, therefore, think they are on schedule until the children are gone or asleep and   all of the things that didn't get done are realized?  The little things that drive you batty are the things that don't get done - like picking up your pair of socks from the family room floor, putting your homework in your backpack instead of leaving it on the table.  The things that reflect the values you are trying to instill in your children - responsibility, contribution, a clean house!  The things that they could easily do and yet they don't... and life would be SO much easier and smoother if they did.... right?

Did I forget to pick up my second grader at his classroom because I have four children?  Does the doctor's office think I'm nuts because I always hesitate before announcing the year of my child's birth - or do they understand that this is typical behavior of a mom with four children? (Is that why they always then ask me if I am the mom?)  

By the way, did I mention that my son just made me dinner so I could write this down?