We Need Another Mommy in the House

I've been sick for three weeks. It started with losing my voice and went on to fever, repiratory problems and hives. Hives are the most recent edition and they are unlike any hives I have ever experienced before. They are huge, red welts all over my legs and other extremities including my ear lobes, elbows and rear end. They hurt like bruises and prevent me from sitting on my knees and playing on the floor with my children. They hurt in my joints even where I cannot see them - making it difficult to lift the baby in her car seat.
I went to the allergist yesterday. My appointment was at 2:00, and I have to pick up my son, Aaron, at 3:00. I called the school and spoke to Lois at the front desk. No problem, she said, if I was late, Aaron could go into after care and I would just pay the difference. But Lois didn't tell Aaron's teacher. And, at 3:30, as I was getting blood drawn, my cell phone rang. Miss Amy wanted to know if I was ok and where I was. I panicked. Aaron is the child who you need to forewarn when changes in life are going to happen. I told Miss Amy I was on my way.
When I ran into Aaron's classroom ready for tears and anger, I was - instead - ignored. Miss Amy stayed late and didn't even tell Aaron about aftercare. He had Miss Amy and all her toys all to himself, and he wasn't ready to leave when I arrived. Thank G-d for the Miss Amy's in the world.
I went to fill the ninety prescriptions the allergist gave me and double checked with the Pharmacist, as I always do, if they were safe to take while nursing. The Pharmacist said "no" on all of them. I went home without any relief.

Today, I went to my regular internist. I wanted to make sure these welts were not a virus or something other than allergic hives. When the doc walked in and saw me, he said "Oh my, isn't that interesting?" He looked at my chart, noted that my blood sugars were high from the tests I had when I was first sick three weeks ago and saw that I had had an allergic reaction to the Penicillian they prescribed two weeks ago. He didn't think the hives now could be from that first reaction. And, he wanted to do more blood tests to find out why my sugars were high.
Oh, and did I mention that on the way to this appointment, my son, Ilan's school called. He had been caught on the bottom of a pile up after lunch and hurt his neck. I had to go pick him up early. He wanted to come home. The wind was knocked out of him, the Assistant Principal said, but I should go to my doctor's appointment first and then come to school.
The doctor decided I needed a shot of Benedryl (in my rear end, between hives) as a first step. I have to go back tomorrow for the blood work since I had to leave to get Ilan and I was already feeling guilty for putting myself first. We called the Pediatrician who gave me permission to take some of the prescriptions the Allergist had given me. And, I had to come back on Monday to see the doc again.

I went to get Ilan. No one told me the shot area would sting and hurt (the nurse confirmed this as I was walking out) and that it would be difficult to walk. No one told me I would feel dizzy, tired and unable to do much though I should have known had I really thought about it. I picked up Ilan. He was fine - just shaken up from his experience, but he had fun in the Assistant Principal's office while he was waiting for me and enjoyed the attention from his classmates when we went to get his backpack. We went to Aaron's school to pick him up and then I passed out as my babysitter took over.

My husband who is away on business received an email from me detailing my experiences and asking him to, please keep me, but to get another wife. We need another Mommy in the house, I told him. He wrote back turning my woes into a rhyming Haiku and told me I should write a book. I told him to get me the other Mommy and I'd have time to do it.

One of the primary goals of my life coaching business is helping moms realize the need for self care. By taking care of themselves (exercising, eating right and – most importantly – taking TIME for themselves), they will be better parents for their children (not to mention role modeling an exceptional value). At ON THE VERGE OF… ME, we assist moms as they rediscover themselves throughout motherhood. We work to eliminate barriers that prevent moms from pursuing things for themselves. We examine the mundane tasks of motherhood and work to change their perspectives and attitudes toward them. We help them redefine or rediscover their values, their passions and who they want to be.

Several times in the last few weeks, people have said to me (doctors, friends, teachers at my son’s school) that I needed to “take a break”, “take care of my self”, or “take some time for ME”. Each time, my inside reaction was “Hey! That’s what my business is all about!” Was I not walking my talk?

Of course I was. I was reminded of a lecture I attended many years before given by Dan Millman, author of The Way of the Peaceful Warrior among several other books. As he stood before us talking about living your Truth and living life with the proper attitudes and actions, I questioned him. “Are you always ON?” I asked, “Even if you (try to) live as you are saying, don’t you ever fall or struggle?”

“Certainly”, was the answer. But, he had the tools to get through the mucky times. He knew how to pick himself up or put a plan in place to overcome what he needed to. He knew what his values were and, if he was living off course from his values, he could readjust his life.

I have been sick for two weeks. First it was minor and I could still function through it. Then I lost my voice – and I could still function – but I couldn’t speak. Then I had a fever, the aches and chills and was absolutely miserable for about two days. My washing machine broke during this time. My babysitter was also out sick and the person who cleans my home was away for a week.

I am days behind in my household management. One of my values is not having a chaotically messy home and staying on top of everything. There was no way I could do that in the last couple of days, and it's amazing how far behind you can get by letting one day go by. BUT, I have the tools to create a plan to catch up without too much angst (I can ask my sitter to stay a little longer). I know what I need to do in reasonable limits to get where I need to be (we can live in a semi-messy home for a few days). I know that I have to take time to rest and not jump back into life full force and I know that this will benefit my family and me more in the long run (I can schedule play dates for my two older children). I can be creative in my solutions (bring a friend coffee while I use her washing machine).

Walking your talk or living your Truth is simply knowing what you need to do to stay on track. We all sway from our paths. We all get overwhelmed. We all must develop the tools and create plans to keep us going in a straight line.

Bouncing From Child to Child & Moment to Moment

I finally figured out why I've been eating so much. I delivered our fourth child on October 8th of this year (that's not why). During the pregnancy, I had gestational diabetes (that's not why either... be patient). I used that time to redevelop better eating habits that I once maintained in my life. I figured it was a great jump start to continuing the path of healthy eating after I delivered. But the second I delivered, I was allowed to eat sugar again. I had to celebrate - both the delivery of our baby and the disappearance of the diabetes - with, what else? a cookie! Sugar just leads to more sugar for me.... and so it began. But that's not answering the question of why I've been eating so much.

I'm nursing. I'm burning more calories, I need to consume more calories (that's not why). I went for my six week appointment and actually weighed less than my pre-pregnancy weight (my pre-pregnancy weight included 10-15 extra pounds that I never lost from children numbers one, two and three). I got a little cocky with that weight and immediately began eating more - of everything. My stomach has popped (way) out again... but that's not WHY I've been eating so much.

My husband left town this week for two nights (nope! that's not why either). My babysitter has been sick all week. The person who helps keep my house clean and organized has been gone all week. I've been a little under the weather - my throat HURTS - and I'm taking antibiotics. The night before my husband left, I moaned to him about how difficult the next couple of days were going to be. He naively stated that he had no doubt I could handle it - easy as pie. I reminded him that he had been home for two hours before we ended up at the table sitting across from each other, eating and talking and that all we had done for the last two hours was bounce back and forth between one of four children. Literally. This one's whining too much and he's caught in a power struggle... SWITCH. This one needs to brush his teeth and I can't stand watching people brush their teeth... SWITCH! The baby needs her diaper changed and I need a break from being latched to her... SWITCH! The 18 month old needs his pajamas on.... You do that while I nurse the baby then I'll take him and put him to bed while you put '5years old' and '4years old' into their pajamas and start reading to them. Then, I'll take over and get them into bed since it takes you 45 minutes to do that. While I'm tucking them in, you get their water ready. I'll come out of their room, get their water and bring it back in. Then we can eat the dinner that's been sitting in the oven for the last two hours getting hot and crunchy. Which is exactly where we were at the beginning of this paragraph.

And, now - after one day of my husband gone... did he just leave this morning? I know why I have to eat so much.... the more I eat, the better I bounce.