For every time I yelled, please forgive me.
If I raised my voice to teach a lesson, forgive me once.
If I yelled from anger, forgive me a million times.
If I made you feel like a bad kid, forgive me.
If my words were mean, forgive me.
If my actions were misleading, forgive me.
If my words cut through you, please forgive me.
If I was not helpful, supportive, or kind, please, forgive me.
If I forgot to tell you how much I love you, forgive me.
If you ever felt unloved, unwanted, or unneeded - please forgive me.
Because I love you as deeply as the depths go. And I want you as hard as I possibly could. And I need you more than any mother has ever needed her child before.
If I ever didn't give you something that you needed, please forgive me.
If there was attention you needed and I didn't give it to you, please forgive me.
If you yearned for my support and I didn't provide it, forgive me.
If there was a toy you needed so badly you would die, well - you're not dead so you must not have needed it.
If I ever neglected to show you my overflowing love,
the immense joy I receive from your presence in my life,
the pride I hold because of the amazing human being who you are...
please forgive me.
If I ever looked past you, said "Give me a minute", or put my own needs before your own - please forgive me. Except for the times that I really needed to take care of mySelf. In those cases, please understand.
Everything I do, I do because of you. You keep me going and make life worth the while. You bring delight and joy, learning and lessons, and allow me to love a little bit deeper each and every day.
You challenge me to grow and be a better person every day. I have a lot of growing left to do. You make me want to strive toward perfection. I am - as of yet - an imperfect human mommy.
I thank you.
I love you.
You fill my life.
Please forgive me for all that needs to be forgiven.
September 18, 2014
September 2, 2014
Inspiration for the Coming Year
Oh, how I love getting my feet wet in Elul. If you do not know, Elul is a month in the Hebrew calendar that comes prior to the High Holidays. In other words, it is time to get ready.
This year's kick off event from the Women's Jewish Learning Center was just the thing to get me rolling. Elul is a time for self-reflection. It is a time to contemplate the year that has passed - who we are and who we want to be, what we accomplished and what we still have left to do, where we made mistakes and how we can change those mistakes in the year to come.
Rabbi Kanter, as always, said something that really struck me. It fit so perfectly with the Mist of Mommy and with Mommymorphosis, my coaching program that assists moms as they redefine and recreate themselves. The inner work we do during the month of Elul and throughout the High Holidays is not just about our failures.
A thorough examination of our Selves is not just meant to identify our mistakes, weaknesses, or wrongdoings. It is also essential to recognize and honor all of the good. This is a brilliant sentiment - especially for moms.
How overwhelmed do you get when you consider the habits, traits, or behaviors that need fixing? I yell too much; I'm not helping with homework as much as I should; I look at my phone too much and not into my children's eyes; I can't get out of bed in the morning; I don't prepare balanced meals every night; my children aren't involved in enough activities; my children are involved in too many activities…. I could go on and on and on and on….
If we are going to spend time analyzing ourSelves and identifying areas that "need improvement", then we also need to point out the tremendous effort, bits of success, and accomplishments we achieve every day. My children feel loved; I get everyone to school on time (most of the time); we love having dinner as a family - even if dinner is pancakes and waffles; I don't forget to bathe my children all the time; I handled that tantrum the other day really well; I'm not afraid to reach out to friends when I need help; I learn and grow every day….. I could go on and on and on…
Lesson 1: Recognize the good (the parenting good) in every day.
Like a gratitude journal, this will help you feel consistently good about your mothering - even when "bad things" come up.
To take this a step further, Rabbi Kanter challenged us with the notion that "we ask too little for ourSelves". We've moved away from imagining and dreaming about what and who we want to be. We've settled comfortably into a definition of who we are. Rabbi Kanter encouraged us to step outside of that definition and focus on who we can be.
Are you sharing the gifts you were given? Are you fulfilling your purpose? Do you know what your purpose is? This is the time of year when - for the Jewish people - the next year is "written and sealed in the Book of Life". But, we don't sit back and wonder what is in store for us. We have the ability, the power, and the responsibility to help write the Book.
Lesson 2: Spend some time dreaming, imagining, and figuring out what ignites your heart.
There are four questions we are asked upon our death. Jewish or not - they are good questions to ponder at the end of each week - the end of each year - and, I suppose, at the end of life.
Here are the generic versions of those questions:
* Were you honest and faithful today?
* Did you do something today that will benefit future generations?
* Did you make time for personal growth?
* Did you hope?
This year's kick off event from the Women's Jewish Learning Center was just the thing to get me rolling. Elul is a time for self-reflection. It is a time to contemplate the year that has passed - who we are and who we want to be, what we accomplished and what we still have left to do, where we made mistakes and how we can change those mistakes in the year to come.
Rabbi Kanter, as always, said something that really struck me. It fit so perfectly with the Mist of Mommy and with Mommymorphosis, my coaching program that assists moms as they redefine and recreate themselves. The inner work we do during the month of Elul and throughout the High Holidays is not just about our failures.
A thorough examination of our Selves is not just meant to identify our mistakes, weaknesses, or wrongdoings. It is also essential to recognize and honor all of the good. This is a brilliant sentiment - especially for moms.
How overwhelmed do you get when you consider the habits, traits, or behaviors that need fixing? I yell too much; I'm not helping with homework as much as I should; I look at my phone too much and not into my children's eyes; I can't get out of bed in the morning; I don't prepare balanced meals every night; my children aren't involved in enough activities; my children are involved in too many activities…. I could go on and on and on and on….
If we are going to spend time analyzing ourSelves and identifying areas that "need improvement", then we also need to point out the tremendous effort, bits of success, and accomplishments we achieve every day. My children feel loved; I get everyone to school on time (most of the time); we love having dinner as a family - even if dinner is pancakes and waffles; I don't forget to bathe my children all the time; I handled that tantrum the other day really well; I'm not afraid to reach out to friends when I need help; I learn and grow every day….. I could go on and on and on…
Lesson 1: Recognize the good (the parenting good) in every day.
Like a gratitude journal, this will help you feel consistently good about your mothering - even when "bad things" come up.
To take this a step further, Rabbi Kanter challenged us with the notion that "we ask too little for ourSelves". We've moved away from imagining and dreaming about what and who we want to be. We've settled comfortably into a definition of who we are. Rabbi Kanter encouraged us to step outside of that definition and focus on who we can be.
Are you sharing the gifts you were given? Are you fulfilling your purpose? Do you know what your purpose is? This is the time of year when - for the Jewish people - the next year is "written and sealed in the Book of Life". But, we don't sit back and wonder what is in store for us. We have the ability, the power, and the responsibility to help write the Book.
Lesson 2: Spend some time dreaming, imagining, and figuring out what ignites your heart.
There are four questions we are asked upon our death. Jewish or not - they are good questions to ponder at the end of each week - the end of each year - and, I suppose, at the end of life.
Here are the generic versions of those questions:
* Were you honest and faithful today?
* Did you do something today that will benefit future generations?
* Did you make time for personal growth?
* Did you hope?
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