The Notion of Supermom, the Absence of a Child, and Baking Bread

I have been trying to write an article (for BellaOnline) on the ludicrous concept of Supermom. It is somewhat paradoxical by nature - after all, aren't most moms super moms?  Simply due to the fact that they feed their children (however unhealthily), keep their homes clean (with a very loose definition of clean), and get their children back and forth to all their 'necessary' appointments (well, sometimes we miss a year's well check and sometimes gymnastics is suddenly cancelled when we can't figure out how to get there and get everything else done, and we often skip showering, and sometimes we eat ice cream or cereal or both for dinner…).

But, really, doesn't just being a mom make you "super" in nature? We stretch ourselves in ways we never imagined we could. We do more in a day than we ever thought humanly possible.  We survive temper tantrums and all night vomiting, teen rebelliousness and children who "hate"us.

At the same time, all this super magnificence is frequently overstated and overrated. We've stretched the definition to encompass a schedule that never has any openings. We're not super unless we're doing it all - and what is doing it all? Well, that depends on who you are and how you define it. But, we feel more powerful when we tell others how engaged we are. Our definition and self-worth is defined by how many colorful boxes fill up our iCalendars.

Is this really the definition of super we want to believe in?

In the middle of writing about Supermom syndrome, one of my children has left for a three-day field trip. He boarded a bus at 11:30 PM on a Tuesday and does not return until early evening on Friday. One child down, and the house is incredibly different. The dishwasher - with only one less child - fills up much more slowly. My 'things to do' list is shorter. With only one less child, time and space have opened up where I never dreamed they could . One child. One self-sufficient child who doesn't need me to walk him to school or help him with homework or do much of anything for him. And, yet…

His absence is noted in every minute and in my every action. And, that brings me to the baking of bread. My field tripping son also happens to be a wheat and yeast allergic child. He wants me to make challah using the recipe I make his weekly loaf of bread with. "Ok, I will", I tell him, "but, first, I want to try one more recipe."

And, I try yet another GF challah recipe. First I try it with yeast and then I try it with my "yeast substitute" of lemon juice and baking soda. It's a science, this baking bread thing, and science was not my strong suit. But, I keep trying. So, this week - I am trying a "regular" challah recipe substituting GF flour for the regular flour.

It's not that simple - because, like I said above, baking bread is a scientific process and there are a few other things to consider. Not to mention - I've decided to also try to lower the sugar content of this challah while preserving the sweetness that my family enjoys on Shabbat. I will be swapping the refined sugar for agave and honey.

My first attempt at a gluten-free, low glycemic challah.  Hopefully, I'll get this down and then can focus on veganizing it and bringing it to HaMotzi (right now, it is not made with oat or spelt flour).  My goal here is to see if I can duplicate my standard challah recipe with GF flour.

Recipe
2 1/4 cups warm water*
1 1/2 T yeast
dash of coconut sugar

40 ounces of Bob's Red Mill One for One GF Flour
1 T salt
1 egg
1/2 cup oil (used a canola, coconut, olive oil mix)
a little less than 2/3 cup agave
1/4 cup honey

In a small bowl, put the warm water - the yeast - and a dash of coconut sugar. Stir and let it proof for about ten minutes.

In another bowl, mix the eggs - oil - agave - and honey.

Finally, in a large bowl - weigh 40 ounces of GF flour. Add 1 T of salt. Mix the egg mixture into the flour mixture. When the yeast has proofed, add the yeast mixture to the bowl as well. Mix and attempt to knead. The dough is very different. *I had to add additional water to get my dough working. This was a risk because using the agave meant that I should lower the amount of liquid used (which is why I'm not adjusting the amount of water above but am noting that you will probably have to add more water).

Once the dough is thoroughly mixed, it does come together in a dense ball.  For this test, I took half of my dough and decided to see if it would rise.  I put it in a glass bowl, covered with plastic wrap and a towel, and left it to rise under my kitchen island lights which always provide a perfect warming area for rising dough. With the rest of the bread dough, I used my silicone mini challah pans - scooping the dough 3/4 of the way full (in case it rises and to keep the challot small since even these small loaves are too big for the few GF eaters in the family).  I am baked them for 40 minutes in a 325 degree convection oven**. The reason I put some in the oven without allowing them to rise is that the agave changes the chemical reactions of the ingredients and may not withstand rising.  But, I wanted to test a rise, so I also left some to rise. 

** Because of the agave, you are also supposed to lower the oven temperature because the agave will cause the edges to brown more quickly.

To sum up, I decided to bake bread for the child who is content with the bread recipe we already use. Is that being super or is that kind of un-super? I have messed up my kitchen, ignored the laundry and the cleaning of the house, haven't made my bed yet or completed the phone calls that have been sitting on my to-do list all week….  hmmm.  Supermom, super mom, or just splendidly in the moment of motherhood?

And, the bread?  It's a no-go. And,  I already know which recipe I'm going to try next.

"You can do anything but not everything."  - David Allen

"I see all these moms who can do everything and then I think…. I should have them do some stuff for me." someecards.com

"If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart." found on Pinterest