On Yom Kippur, we Jews fast from sundown until sundown. The saying goes that by fasting, we are putting ourselves beyond the physical plain and connecting with our deepest spiritual self.
Anyone who has fasted all day knows that you do not automatically feel more spiritual just because you haven't had breakfast, lunch, dinner or snacks. In fact, quite often, we spend much of the day listening to the rumblings in our stomach, thinking about what will happen if we faint in the middle of services and counting the hours until we can eat bagels, lox, kugel and other decadent jewish food.
The same could go for parenthood, I suppose. Those challenging moments? One could look at them as though they were spiritual tests. Remember the greater good. Who is this life for? What is the deeper meaning? What is most important in life? How can you demonstrate patience, love and compassion during those most difficult moments.
Instead of connecting with the Divine, we often lose our impatience. Slam doors and regret how we raised our voice at our children. We rethink how we SHOULD have responded and berate ourselves for not doing better. We pay attention to the stomach grumblings instead of the light headedness.
Like today, for example. Isaac (almost 3) has not been sleeping well. He's been going to bed at 8 with his older brothers and waking up at 5. Sometimes he'll go back to sleep in our bed for another hour. Frequently, he'll fall asleep in the car and get an afternoon nap. Today, I worked hard to keep him up, planning to put him to bed at an early hour and hoping that he'd get a good night's sleep.
Ellie (20 months) also was robbed of her nap today and I thought she'd turn in early (earlier than usual - she typically goes down by 6:30/7:00). Aaron (a very important 5 3/4) went to play at a friend's house after school. The plan was that I'd take the rest out to ice cream and to the bookstore so Ilan (7) could use a gift card he had.
The chaos at Baskin Robbins should have been a clue - a spiritual clue?
No, actually... the morning excursion to Target was the first clue. I can't recall all the details. It's that dissociative state that allows us mothers to come home from events such as the one this morning and say "now, what was so bad about that?". Well, what I do know is that I started with two children sitting in the shopping cart and I ended up with one child in my arms and one hanging on to the side as I pushed/dragged him along. I had to hang up all the yo yo balls and doodle boards that they took off the hooks while I was putting everything on the belt to pay. And, at one point, Ellie hit her face on the cart while she was playing. She's tough.. but when she decides she's upset, she let's it ALL out. She wailed for most of our journey through Target. And, then Isaac started crying about getting out until I finally let him. Then I spent the next 13 minutes chasing them - telling him not to use the emergency phone, putting back Ellie's selection of a scented candle relaxation set, trying to look for the dishwasher detergent I needed while watching both of them squeal in delight that we were in the mop section. "No, those aren't our mops. Let's go home and clean, ok?" The woman behind me in line smiled. "I remember those days." Oh, yeah. I bet she does. She wouldn't be smiling if she really, truly remembered them.
Back to B & R. They ate ice cream. Ellie would take the spoon of ice cream and slurp it like drinking a milk shake through a straw. She picked the M&M's out of her ice cream and wouldn't eat them mixed together unless I hid it deep within the ice cream. Isaac stood up in the middle of ice cream eating because he had to push his poops out. Everyone in the store knew he had to go because he announced it loudly. He went. He stood up to finish his ice cream but he was bouncing off walls even before he started eating it. He fell a couple of times, whined about not being able to reach his ice cream while he was standing at the table, and finally crawled under my legs to escape from the barrier I had created to keep him in one place. Ilan finished his own double scoop and then ate the rest of Isaac's as well. He tried for Ellie's but I wanted the M&M's frozen in the ice cream. Yum. Spirituality at its finest.
We went to the bookstore and I picked out the birthday presents we needed very quickly. I encouraged Ilan to do the same with his selections but, first, he wanted to flip through a Star Wars sticker book. (good listening) Ellie found an Elmo book ("La La") that she held on to - until the very end when I went to pay for it and there was a romance novel in her hand with Elmo nowhere to be found. Isaac started screaming that his penis hurt. He still had the poopy diaper. Ilan found some books. We left. Another group of people staring at me and probably wondering why mothers ever attempt to go out in public with children.
I didn't have wipes in the car. I knew that. Isaac wanted his diaper changed. I figured a dirty diaper would keep him awake. I wiped him with an extra diaper best I could and put on a clean one until we got home. I mean, until we picked up Aaron and went home. Isaac was crying. He wanted to go home.
I parked the car in the driveway and went to get Aaron. He wanted to stay longer. I wouldn't be able to get him, I said. Ellie and Isaac were bound for sleep soon. He had to find his shoes. He had to pet the dog one last time. He finally got in the car.
Ellie started crying for milk. We're on our way home, I told her. What were we going to have for dinner, I wondered. Something fast and easy.. they ended up eating waffles. But, Ilan wanted scrambled eggs. Then he saw the waffles. They ate a whole box. I spent dinner going back to the toaster to put in two more waffles. Ellie just eats the butter off it and then asks for more. Isaac likes butter - not melted - on his. Aaron just likes syrup, no butter. And, Ilan likes butter, no syrup... but he didn't like waffles until tonight.
Bath and bed. They're so tired. Baths are a whole other story, but this is already going to take 45 minutes to read, and I'm still not sure where the personal growth is going to fit in.
I put Ellie down. She cried - for the first time - EVER! Ok, well, almost ever. She rarely cries when she goes to bed. I had to go back in (just to make sure her foot wasn't caught between the crib rails like it was the other night). I rocked her. I put her down. She cried. I rocked her. I put her down. I let her cry. I went to put Isaac down. He didn't want to go to sleep. I lay down in his bed with him - the bed squashed between the other two beds in the room where ALL the boys sleep. I told him two more minutes. He wanted more water. I said I'd be right back. I went back to Ellie. I rocked her to sleep. This time it worked. Or maybe the next time - I've lost count.
I read to Aaron and Ilan. They would not settle down. I ended reading time. "Get to bed NOW". They ran to bed. Isaac was still up. I gave him his water. I tucked them all in. I said good night. I wanted to exercise. I had three loads of laundry to fold. I needed to veg out. There was loud laughter from the other side of the house. It was Isaac jumping on Ilan's bed. "It's bed time. That means no laughing, no talking, just laying." After repeating this scenario three times, I took Isaac into my room and put him on the bed. But, I wanted to be in my room. Aargh! I went to finish the dishes.
I brought Isaac back to his bed. Aaron was asleep. Sweet Aaron. Until 6am when he wakes up - no matter what. Ilan couldn't sleep. Never can. He always feels "funny" around 9:00pm. I said that was ok - the best thing to do was lie in bed - same as every other night. Isaac was finally asleep. Sweet Isaac. Until 5:00am when he always wakes up and comes in our bed - if he's not already there - to sleep one more hour. And, there goes Ilan. Just in time to wake him up to pee so he doesn't wet his bed.
Oh, look. David is home. The house is so nice and quiet, he said. "SSSSSHHHHH!" I cried.
I got into bed and prayed to G-d. "Please don't let this ever happen again."
And, G-d answered with.... Thursday.
May 14, 2008
May 8, 2008
Five Things You Should Know About Sanctity in Motherhood
*Please Note: I said SANCTITY, not SANITY. The latter, I am still trying to figure out.
1. my inner piece will lead to your inner peace
By now, every mother has heard the adage about putting on her own oxygen mask before putting on her child's when in an airplane experiencing difficulties.
We're TOLD to do this. We're told we NEED to do this. But, it's still not an easy path. We still don’t feel encouraged to actually follow through with the process. And what does the process entail in the first place? I have to figure out who my inner piece or self IS. And, that can be a long process – especially when you’re trying to find time in the midst of diaper changing and laundry and cooking and cleaning and chasing and – you get the point. No one has outlined this process for mothers. Because they can’t. One woman’s process is another woman’s nightmare. Each individual must commit the time and energy to figure out what it is that permits her to make a connection with a Divine force in the universe. My business partner, for example, feels a connection when she goes to synagogue. I do not. I feel a deeper connection when I am hiking out in nature or participating in a retreat where I am inspired to be a better person.
Regardless… if you want to find the inner piece and, thus, the inner peace… you will have to:
a) define your path to get there
b) start carving out time to walk on the path
c) manage the incessant guilt that will be alongside the path
d) maintain whatever it is you discovered that defines you and allows you to feel connected to something outside of motherhood
2. it's a slower paced journey in a faster paced world
Lately, I have been observing many of my friends (most of whom are younger than me and who have fewer children than me) climbing to a new plateau of life. They are more relaxed (though still just as busy), are going back to work or creating their own businesses and have time to devote to themselves. They don’t have to worry about scheduling doctor’s appointments around naptime or finding babysitters so they can attend another child’s performance in the school play. They don’t have to maneuver their time so they can ensure that everything gets done.
When people say to me “I don’t know how you do it.” I reply with “I don’t know how you do it.” I may have a couple more balls in my pinball machine, but we’re all bouncing, right?
Any mother with children (do you know any without?) “slows down a bit” after she has children. It’s quite the contradiction, isn’t it? Because in reality, she has never moved so fast or accomplished so much in so little time ever before in her life.
What’s slowing down is the ego-laden life we are accustomed to living. All our time and energy could be devoted to ourselves. Even volunteering at the soup kitchen makes US (our ego) feel good. Then comes this being and your life is devoted to another not just because you chose to marry him (which, statistics say, only 50% will remain committed in the end).
Your own life journey (another paradox) slows down – at least on the surface – when actually you are gathering all this raw data for change and growth and learning and transformation. You just don't realize how much personal growth and divine inspiration you are acquiring when you are in the midst of mothering.
I watch some of my friends and wonder if they feel guilty taking tennis lessons and going to cooking classes, working out and having lunch with friends while their children labor at school and their partners labor at work. But, when I stop looking at the bigger picture and look at it from a microscopic lens, I see it completely differently.
After a long, hard day... I'm so overwhelmed, exhausted and tired of being touched that I need to sit and do nothing. That does not mean going to sleep - before I can even go to sleep, I have to wind down before I can unwind. So, when these women are taking classes and getting their nails done and enjoying a little time... really, they're winding down from the years of servitude and complete dependence from their little ones.
Oh, I can't wait to embrace the next level of parenthood and the spiritual growth that comes with it.
3. the ‘panes’ of labor provide an unknowing glimpse into your future
If only we knew. People tell you beforehand about the lack of sleep and to enjoy your free time. But, we are really incapable of grasping the true meaning behind their words.
After all, we all had our late-night days where we got such little sleep. But, we survived, and we caught up on sleep during the weekend. What do you mean we won’t be able to do that anymore?
Each labor is different. It is an unknown – even if you went so far as to plan it out and think about what you wanted your labor/delivery to look like. You just never know. And, that’s pretty much the truest outlook of your future too. You just never know.
There is a lot of pain – as you watch your children struggle through physical ailments and growing up pains. There is pain as you make mistakes that impact your children or react with actions you instantly regret.
Through the pain, however, comes the birth. And what gloriousness is that? The amazing connection with something bigger than yourself… how could that possibly have grown and thrived inside of me? And, how the heck did it get out? Did I really do that? I can’t stand to be shocked when someone rubs their feet on the carpet and touches me. Yet, I made it through four child births - one without drugs. I must have grown from those experiences (and I don't mind the extra 15 pounds I can't seem to get rid of or the wider-than-usual hips that now don my body).
The pain of child birth leads us in ways we could never have imagined.
Transformation. Perspective. Attitude. Connection.
4. Either you can brood or you can drink pina coladas
Spirituality has a lot to do with attitude. With the proper perspective and the right dose of alcohol, any mother can manage what life has to dole out. Imagine how much different folding laundry would be with a cute little umbrella drink in one hand. You don’t even have to drink it – just hold it.
My friend, Robin, and I used to smoke pretzel sticks when we were younger. We didn’t even light them, we just dragged on them. I tried that the other day when I was listening to my boys fighting over who got to use Daddy’s new set of socket wrenches. I just pulled out my little box of pretzel sticks, broke one in half to use as a match and lit one up. I sat at the kitchen table with my slippers and a diet root beer and watched calmly as the three boys ripped apart the pipes under my kitchen sink.
Remaining calm in the middle of life's chaotic moments is CERTAINLY a skill only the spiritually connected can manage. We mothers may have to find creative avenues to achieve that sense of calm, but we are certainly capable of doing it!
5. there IS spirituality in motherhood
If you’ve never thought about it before, then think about this… how often do you pray to G-d that your husband will arrive home on time at night? How frequently do you find yourself praying that you can get in and out of the grocery store without anyone hitting each other? Without anyone throwing a tantrum? Or without forgetting something on your grocery list and having to go back? Have you said “Please, G-d, let my screaming baby fall asleep without
me having to go in there 50 times.”? How about praying to G-d that the doctor comes in to the examining room QUICKLY?
There are also those moments of praying to your child and – in essence – attempting to appeal to the divine spark within them: “PLEASE, pretty PLEASE hurry up going to the bathroom. Isaac and Ellie are playing in the garbage cans.” “PLEASE quiet down so I can finish this phone conversation with the school administrator, telling him why you belong in kindergarten next
year.” “PLEASE listen to me the first time I tell you something. We can add three hours to our day if I didn’t have to repeat myself so much.” “PLEASE eighteen-month old daughter. Stop making your three year old and five year old brothers cry. PLEASE stop “high-ya”ing them.”
Praying is an act of spirituality.
So, while sanity may be missing from the lives of many mothers, I think we can all declare that we are deeply spiritual beings!
1. my inner piece will lead to your inner peace
By now, every mother has heard the adage about putting on her own oxygen mask before putting on her child's when in an airplane experiencing difficulties.
We're TOLD to do this. We're told we NEED to do this. But, it's still not an easy path. We still don’t feel encouraged to actually follow through with the process. And what does the process entail in the first place? I have to figure out who my inner piece or self IS. And, that can be a long process – especially when you’re trying to find time in the midst of diaper changing and laundry and cooking and cleaning and chasing and – you get the point. No one has outlined this process for mothers. Because they can’t. One woman’s process is another woman’s nightmare. Each individual must commit the time and energy to figure out what it is that permits her to make a connection with a Divine force in the universe. My business partner, for example, feels a connection when she goes to synagogue. I do not. I feel a deeper connection when I am hiking out in nature or participating in a retreat where I am inspired to be a better person.
Regardless… if you want to find the inner piece and, thus, the inner peace… you will have to:
a) define your path to get there
b) start carving out time to walk on the path
c) manage the incessant guilt that will be alongside the path
d) maintain whatever it is you discovered that defines you and allows you to feel connected to something outside of motherhood
2. it's a slower paced journey in a faster paced world
Lately, I have been observing many of my friends (most of whom are younger than me and who have fewer children than me) climbing to a new plateau of life. They are more relaxed (though still just as busy), are going back to work or creating their own businesses and have time to devote to themselves. They don’t have to worry about scheduling doctor’s appointments around naptime or finding babysitters so they can attend another child’s performance in the school play. They don’t have to maneuver their time so they can ensure that everything gets done.
When people say to me “I don’t know how you do it.” I reply with “I don’t know how you do it.” I may have a couple more balls in my pinball machine, but we’re all bouncing, right?
Any mother with children (do you know any without?) “slows down a bit” after she has children. It’s quite the contradiction, isn’t it? Because in reality, she has never moved so fast or accomplished so much in so little time ever before in her life.
What’s slowing down is the ego-laden life we are accustomed to living. All our time and energy could be devoted to ourselves. Even volunteering at the soup kitchen makes US (our ego) feel good. Then comes this being and your life is devoted to another not just because you chose to marry him (which, statistics say, only 50% will remain committed in the end).
Your own life journey (another paradox) slows down – at least on the surface – when actually you are gathering all this raw data for change and growth and learning and transformation. You just don't realize how much personal growth and divine inspiration you are acquiring when you are in the midst of mothering.
I watch some of my friends and wonder if they feel guilty taking tennis lessons and going to cooking classes, working out and having lunch with friends while their children labor at school and their partners labor at work. But, when I stop looking at the bigger picture and look at it from a microscopic lens, I see it completely differently.
After a long, hard day... I'm so overwhelmed, exhausted and tired of being touched that I need to sit and do nothing. That does not mean going to sleep - before I can even go to sleep, I have to wind down before I can unwind. So, when these women are taking classes and getting their nails done and enjoying a little time... really, they're winding down from the years of servitude and complete dependence from their little ones.
Oh, I can't wait to embrace the next level of parenthood and the spiritual growth that comes with it.
3. the ‘panes’ of labor provide an unknowing glimpse into your future
If only we knew. People tell you beforehand about the lack of sleep and to enjoy your free time. But, we are really incapable of grasping the true meaning behind their words.
After all, we all had our late-night days where we got such little sleep. But, we survived, and we caught up on sleep during the weekend. What do you mean we won’t be able to do that anymore?
Each labor is different. It is an unknown – even if you went so far as to plan it out and think about what you wanted your labor/delivery to look like. You just never know. And, that’s pretty much the truest outlook of your future too. You just never know.
There is a lot of pain – as you watch your children struggle through physical ailments and growing up pains. There is pain as you make mistakes that impact your children or react with actions you instantly regret.
Through the pain, however, comes the birth. And what gloriousness is that? The amazing connection with something bigger than yourself… how could that possibly have grown and thrived inside of me? And, how the heck did it get out? Did I really do that? I can’t stand to be shocked when someone rubs their feet on the carpet and touches me. Yet, I made it through four child births - one without drugs. I must have grown from those experiences (and I don't mind the extra 15 pounds I can't seem to get rid of or the wider-than-usual hips that now don my body).
The pain of child birth leads us in ways we could never have imagined.
Transformation. Perspective. Attitude. Connection.
4. Either you can brood or you can drink pina coladas
Spirituality has a lot to do with attitude. With the proper perspective and the right dose of alcohol, any mother can manage what life has to dole out. Imagine how much different folding laundry would be with a cute little umbrella drink in one hand. You don’t even have to drink it – just hold it.
My friend, Robin, and I used to smoke pretzel sticks when we were younger. We didn’t even light them, we just dragged on them. I tried that the other day when I was listening to my boys fighting over who got to use Daddy’s new set of socket wrenches. I just pulled out my little box of pretzel sticks, broke one in half to use as a match and lit one up. I sat at the kitchen table with my slippers and a diet root beer and watched calmly as the three boys ripped apart the pipes under my kitchen sink.
Remaining calm in the middle of life's chaotic moments is CERTAINLY a skill only the spiritually connected can manage. We mothers may have to find creative avenues to achieve that sense of calm, but we are certainly capable of doing it!
5. there IS spirituality in motherhood
If you’ve never thought about it before, then think about this… how often do you pray to G-d that your husband will arrive home on time at night? How frequently do you find yourself praying that you can get in and out of the grocery store without anyone hitting each other? Without anyone throwing a tantrum? Or without forgetting something on your grocery list and having to go back? Have you said “Please, G-d, let my screaming baby fall asleep without
me having to go in there 50 times.”? How about praying to G-d that the doctor comes in to the examining room QUICKLY?
There are also those moments of praying to your child and – in essence – attempting to appeal to the divine spark within them: “PLEASE, pretty PLEASE hurry up going to the bathroom. Isaac and Ellie are playing in the garbage cans.” “PLEASE quiet down so I can finish this phone conversation with the school administrator, telling him why you belong in kindergarten next
year.” “PLEASE listen to me the first time I tell you something. We can add three hours to our day if I didn’t have to repeat myself so much.” “PLEASE eighteen-month old daughter. Stop making your three year old and five year old brothers cry. PLEASE stop “high-ya”ing them.”
Praying is an act of spirituality.
So, while sanity may be missing from the lives of many mothers, I think we can all declare that we are deeply spiritual beings!
May 7, 2008
The Divnity Within Motherhood
And, I thought my spirituality was a separate entity from my expression of Judaism... I just wasn't feeling spiritually inspired from my separate dishes or preparing for Pesach or paying the tuition of a Jewish day school.
But, today, I went to a class led by the Rabbi of my shul. We are in the midst of the Counting of the Omer - the time beginning on the second day of Passover and lasting until Shavuot. Passover marks the time of our physical liberation, our exodus from Egypt, and Shavuot is the day we received the Torah from G-d.
The Omer, which we are in the midst of, is a time of "mourning" for the Jews. This marks the time Rabbi Akiva lost 24,000 of his students - in one month. Every time there is a "community mourning" in Judaism - such as this current time and that which occurs to commemorate the destruction of the Bait Hamikdash (Temple) - our lesson is one of interpersonal relationships.
It is a time to set aside our "ego" and connect with our "soul". "You cannot have a relationship with G-d," Rabbi Shoshan said, "unless you have relationships with people."
What's funny is that I began my conversations about spirituality with a friend last night and continued in another conversation with my business partner today, right before the class.
In a conversation stemming from the exploration of self-judgment and how that plays a role in our lives, we determined that the first step into spirituality (within motherhood, of course) is to be in a "judgment free zone".
Now, you have to understand what this means - because without judgment, we would have no movement, no personal development, no growth - and that's not exactly the kind of life most of us want.
Just by the nature of being human, we judge. You have to judge things in order to be able to determine if something is right for you or not. When you make a decision about what is right for you, you are making a judgment that the other choices are "wrong".
We also cannot avoid passing judgment about our own actions and - we, mothers - tend to be very critical of ourselves. It is difficult to survive unjudged in this world of "fast paced we can and will do it all". We can - no doubt about it. But, that doesn't come without consequences.
Essentially, what needs to take place is an observation - or awareness - as my business partner was told by her Life Coach. We need to observe our judgments and let them go. We need to monitor our judgments and attempt to phrase them in the positive and not the negative. And, as I recently read somewhere, we need to give ourselves credit each day for all that we've done rather than beat ourselves up for all that we did wrong.
Setting aside our ego is part of that first step into spirituality. And, for mothers, that is something that occurs naturally the second you became a mother. The ego-driven life we are accustomed to living is altered. We now have this being who depends on us for everything, and we are required to set aside our own "needs" to respond to the needs of the baby. A mother relinquishes some of her ego-driven behavior almost by default and, at the same time, may feel resentment (subconsciously or consciously) in regards to this change.
This is where the struggle within motherhood begins to take place. Our identities are completely transformed. We are entering this world of deep giving, bigger purpose and less control... is that spirituality? We begin to redefine ourselves. And, if we do it right - meaning, we go beyond the ego-self and it's needs - we may be able to embrace the divinity that exists in motherhood.
If what my Rabbi said is true and it's all about interpersonal relationships - there is no better learning platform than the relationship of mother and child.
We're on our way.
But, today, I went to a class led by the Rabbi of my shul. We are in the midst of the Counting of the Omer - the time beginning on the second day of Passover and lasting until Shavuot. Passover marks the time of our physical liberation, our exodus from Egypt, and Shavuot is the day we received the Torah from G-d.
The Omer, which we are in the midst of, is a time of "mourning" for the Jews. This marks the time Rabbi Akiva lost 24,000 of his students - in one month. Every time there is a "community mourning" in Judaism - such as this current time and that which occurs to commemorate the destruction of the Bait Hamikdash (Temple) - our lesson is one of interpersonal relationships.
It is a time to set aside our "ego" and connect with our "soul". "You cannot have a relationship with G-d," Rabbi Shoshan said, "unless you have relationships with people."
What's funny is that I began my conversations about spirituality with a friend last night and continued in another conversation with my business partner today, right before the class.
In a conversation stemming from the exploration of self-judgment and how that plays a role in our lives, we determined that the first step into spirituality (within motherhood, of course) is to be in a "judgment free zone".
Now, you have to understand what this means - because without judgment, we would have no movement, no personal development, no growth - and that's not exactly the kind of life most of us want.
Just by the nature of being human, we judge. You have to judge things in order to be able to determine if something is right for you or not. When you make a decision about what is right for you, you are making a judgment that the other choices are "wrong".
We also cannot avoid passing judgment about our own actions and - we, mothers - tend to be very critical of ourselves. It is difficult to survive unjudged in this world of "fast paced we can and will do it all". We can - no doubt about it. But, that doesn't come without consequences.
Essentially, what needs to take place is an observation - or awareness - as my business partner was told by her Life Coach. We need to observe our judgments and let them go. We need to monitor our judgments and attempt to phrase them in the positive and not the negative. And, as I recently read somewhere, we need to give ourselves credit each day for all that we've done rather than beat ourselves up for all that we did wrong.
Setting aside our ego is part of that first step into spirituality. And, for mothers, that is something that occurs naturally the second you became a mother. The ego-driven life we are accustomed to living is altered. We now have this being who depends on us for everything, and we are required to set aside our own "needs" to respond to the needs of the baby. A mother relinquishes some of her ego-driven behavior almost by default and, at the same time, may feel resentment (subconsciously or consciously) in regards to this change.
This is where the struggle within motherhood begins to take place. Our identities are completely transformed. We are entering this world of deep giving, bigger purpose and less control... is that spirituality? We begin to redefine ourselves. And, if we do it right - meaning, we go beyond the ego-self and it's needs - we may be able to embrace the divinity that exists in motherhood.
If what my Rabbi said is true and it's all about interpersonal relationships - there is no better learning platform than the relationship of mother and child.
We're on our way.
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