One Strong Woman

My peace with surgery.

I was told I was 'one strong woman'.
I took that as - unbelievable that I dealt with this for so long.

I visited everyone I could think of, everyone anyone suggested.
I went to the Founder of the Naturopathic college. He asked if I was afraid of dying on the table. I told him I wanted his guidance in helping my body heal on its own. He told me he'd help me after I physically fixed the problem. This was bad.

I was trying to avoid surgery at all costs. I was an advocate of avoiding surgery at all costs. I still am.  

I went to a medical intuitive. She performed spiritual surgery - with the help of a deceased physician she channeled. Don't ask. But she totally knew about the physical problem from meditating on my chakras. I didn't tell her what was going on.

I had months of physical therapy - GREAT physical therapy. From two different physical therapy centers (insurance changes in the middle of this year) It helped, frequently. But just didn't sustain for the long haul. And, then when I had a relapse, they referred me on.

I went to a fabulous neuromuscular therapist (if anyone needs a referral, I highly recommend her) who told me that if - after a few visits - we weren't seeing any improvement, something else was going on. I kept going to her anyway because there was such relief after my visits. They just didn't sustain.

I followed an anti-inflammatory diet. I used tapping. I journaled. I followed the John Sarno philosophy - the unfortunate problem there was that I was unable to physically move and moving and being normal is part of his treatment. But, then I read his book again, and I fell into his "exception - see doctor" category.

I tried pain management. I tried resting. I tried to try yoga. I couldn't move, most of the time. I thought of alcohol and I contemplated moving to Colorado.

And, then I went to a doctor recommended by a friend. This doctor had helped my friend - and many people - avoid surgery. He is a neuro-spinal doctor. He looked at my MRI. He ordered another MRI to see if there had been any change. The pain management doc told me it looked slightly worse. 

It was time to consider surgery. I love this doc (recommendation for anyone who needs). I appreciate his philosophy on the spine, on treatment, and on health, in general. 

He referred me to the surgeon he thought would be the best one for me. I visited him. I believe in him. 

I'm sure I can spend another couple of years trying to overcome this on my own. I know I did not try everything. There is always something else. 

But, I'm ready to live life again. I'm ready to be there - really be there for my children - and my husband - and mySelf. So, here I go...