The Summons

Shabbat is so peaceful and hopeful. With no disruptions coming in from camp, it feels like everything is hunky dory and that we won't be seeing either of our boys until July 15th.

I'm already winding down for the night and my cell phone lights up. Another call. We weren't supposed to hear from them until Sunday morning.

Let's see - after the email of Aaron being on the porch, we had another phone call with camp.  Ilan had seen Aaron and was able to get him to go for dinner. It was a BBQ so campers could sit with and eat with whomever they wanted. Perfect. 

Camp had already told Ilan that he was a great big brother. He frequently asked how Aaron was doing, and it's obvious he is sensitive to Aaron's feelings. He was told how wonderful it is that he wants to help, that camp and his parents were working together, and that neither of us wanted his time at camp to be tainted by his brother.

But, he saw Aaron on the porch and took him to the BBQ. He told the Director for Camp Care (DOCC) that Aaron may go to Capture the Flag later that night but he would probably not play.

We were encouraged by upcoming Shabbat. DOCC told us that many children "turn around" on Shabbat. Given, Aaron was a bit extreme but they were willing to see how Shabbat worked for Aaron.

It didn't.

The last call we received was the Summons. Aaron was up and down during Shabbat. When it looked like he was having fun and someone commented on it, he'd reply - "I'm faking it because my parents said I had to."

DOCC said he thinks it's time to come get Aaron.

So, I am off to Sedalia this morning and thankful that David commutes to Boulder for work so that I am "close by".

To Aaron:

I am disappointed that you were not able to experience fun at camp, but I also know how much courage it took for you to even get there.

I am proud of you for trying and am eager to help you acquire the tools that would allow you to stay at camp (even if you never go back to camp, you still need the tools).

I am grateful - as you should be - for Ilan's compassion and for the Ramah Outdoor Adventure staff who tirelessly, enthusiastically, and skillfully tried to help you ease into camp.

I know you have told them that you did not enjoy anything at all (you told us you liked the food the first time we talked to you which, from what we've heard, is commonly a camper's least favorite part about camp). I want you to think about the book that you, Ilan and I were working on. The part we left off on was the assessment of how we look at the world. Do you look at the world with the eyes of a pessimist? Or do you look through the world with the eyes of an optimist?

It is a skill we (you, me, and Ilan) are working on to improve in our lives. But, I am sure there is something that you can say to your counselors, to the Director of Camp Care, and to the others who tried to help you about what you liked at camp.

To ROA staff - Aaron's counselors, Zach, Miki, anyone else who "tried to get in"

There is so much that I could say to you write now. I first want to express my admiration, my appreciation, and my awe with the way you tried to help Aaron acclimate to camp life. 

From the beginning, I have been aware of how this might take away from other campers, from your schedules, and from your energy!

We had great hopes for Aaron - who told us on his own (no coercing involved) to sign him up for camp. But, we should have hesitated for a moment because we know our son.

He has difficult times through transitions. He is an introvert. It takes him awhile to settle in. He is stubborn. He is an anxious child. He hasn't even really enjoyed sports (or wore shorts - he used to wear jeans every single day - even in the hot, Arizona summer) until this year.

He has come so far and that is what we were focused on. That is where we placed our hopes for his summer.

Thank you all so much for your efforts, for the time you devoted to him, and for the encouragement you gave him.

Aaron and Ilan's younger siblings are more like Ilan, so please don't freak out if you see the name "Pinkus" on your camp rosters in future years!