The Call

During the preschool years, I was one of those dump and go parents.  I knew I had to take him in, connect him to a teacher so he would not be able to run after me, and quickly escape out the front door. This was the daily routine, and it worked for us.  I never got "the call" in preschool.

I got the call in kindergarten from a nervous and uncertain teacher:  "Leeesaaaa? Aaron is sitting in the corner with his head between his knees and won't participate with the rest of the class."  I received many of these calls:  "Leesaaa?  He's in the corner again."  Don't even ask why the teacher wasn't able to handle it and why I had to be involved.  Don't worry - school administration soon was.

I got the call in first grade.  Aaron went "inside" and wouldn't respond after the class was asked to write about their family and whether they were the oldest, middle, or youngest child in their families.  According to Aaron, he was "none of the above".  His teacher tried to help him see that he was still in the middle even though a fourth child was added to our family, but he would have none of that.  Perhaps that was the moment he decided to hate his sister - she who took away his identity as the middle son.  Hmmm.

I got the call in third grade.  Given, we started at a new school and entered an environment where we knew no one.  I should have expected the call.  I merely anticipated a difficult adjustment.  Indeed, Aaron was under the desk and wouldn't go to his classes or respond to his teacher.  The principal and I became best friends fast.

Today, the call came from camp.  It had been quite a journey already and - if you know Aaron - you know the courage he had already displayed.  We took him to the camp orientation with the intention of sending Ilan and hoping that Aaron would like it enough that we could nudge him and push him and maybe talk him into it... for next year.  That was my goal, but my hope was much greater.  So, when we came out of that orientation and he said, "That sounds really cool, but I'd be really nervous.", we danced with joy.  I'd bring it up every few days and, finally, he said, "I think you and dad should just sign me up and not tell me about it and stop talking about it."

So, we did. And he was excited.  A bit nervous, but excited.  Until the night before when he started crying and saying he didn't want to go.  He woke the next morning with the same resistance but - miraculously - he overcame it.  He still talked about being nervous but got in the car to go from Boulder to Denver. He gave us tight hugs, but he walked on the bus willingly and stood up to wave good-bye as the bus pulled away for the two-hour drive to Sedalia, Colorado.

Thursday, mid-morning, "the call" came again from Ramah Outdoor Adventure - "the happiest place on earth".  Aaron is refusing to get out of bed and participate in... well, anything.  He has been staying on the periphery and - today - has just decided he's done.  He's saying he is homesick and wants to be picked up.

The plan of action was to try and get him out of bed for lunch and to touch base after that by phone or email.  He did get out of bed because they had a camp fire drill and he had to.  He sat at lunch with one of the camp staff and talked with her awhile after that.  He said he would do afternoon activities if he talked with us.

The call we were expecting between 12:30 and 1:00 came around 2:30 (with me checking my email every five minutes during those hours).  Aaron wanted to come home.  He hated camp because he didn't want to be away from his family.  I asked if he was missing Ellie but only David and I got that joke.  Aaron continued to wail about wanting to come home and, please, to come get him.  We said everything we were supposed to say - that we know it's hard, that other boys are homesick too, that there are so many great activities he hasn't tried yet, that he can't tell us he doesn't like camp if he hasn't given it a good shot - and staying in bed, refusing to participate is not a good shot.

He left the room so we could talk to the two, patient, phenomenal, we owe them staff members.  We are concerned how it will impact other campers.  We are sad, disappointed but not surprised at Aaron. We know it could go either way - that if we give him a few days, he'll come out and play.... or, if he's decided not to enjoy camp - he will NOT enjoy camp.

We hung up and they would pass our good-bye on to Aaron.  We'll keep in touch.

The email we just received said that Aaron did not do an afternoon activity.  He has chosen to lay on the porch of the office cabin and do nothing.

The Director of Campus Care told us he knows what it's like to see that the camp is calling, so he tries to email instead when possible.  :)  He, too, knows about "the call".