An Ode to Pops

My grandfather turned 99 on July 1st of this year. He moved from "98 is great" to "99 is mighty fine".  His mother - Nanny Kate - was in my life through a good part of my teens.  She was 96 - for several years.  His father - Poppy Ira - was also in my life and around long enough that I have memories to hold on to.  That is the maternal side of the family.

My dad's mom, my Grandma Fritzi (obm), passed away on December 16th, 2012. She was 98 ("98 is great. 98 takes you to Heaven's gate).  She was alive until the day she died (if you know what I mean).  Her motto was "the older I get, the better I was", but we all knew that wasn't true. She passed away before she got "too old".  That's how she wanted it.

It's in my blood - these long years of life.  While everyone else is going through their mid-life crisis, I am still only one-third of the way done with mine.  ;)

My grandfather went to the ER earlier this week. He told the doctors he was a retired Supreme Court Judge.  He was a judge (and he was appointed to the Cook County Circuit Court in 1983) ; he was a naval officer who served in World War II; and he was a member of the (Illinois) State Legislature.  He has good stories.  

My grandmother reached toward death with her mental capacities intact. My grandfather, however, is losing it. The last time we visited on the phone, my grandfather told me he had been a doctor in the Navy - simply because they did not have one handy and he had to step in for the job.  He explained how he read a text book in order to perform surgery on another officer.  And he did it perfectly.  And they all thought he was fabulous.

He told me he was shot while on the ship and was awarded a purple heart ribbon.  I think he was awarded a purple heart ribbon for his service (at the age of 97 and probably because he asked for it), but I was told he was struck by a hose on the ship and that is why he had to leave the service.  He told my mom he had a knee replacement, and he was so convincing - she began to believe him - doubting her own ability to remember.  This was two days ago.

My grandfather is "physically strong", whatever that means at 98. But, his mind is fading.  His mother had a faded mind too, but it was so worn away that she didn't remember anything - so it was easy.  My grandfather is struggling between knowing and confusion - and it makes him grumpy, difficult, and unhappy.

No one wants a loved one to be in that space.  No one wants to watch their parent have to take care of their own parent through that space.  And no one - well, some people, don't enjoy being apart from their family when their family needs them.