There's No Good Answer

I have a friend who consistently looks to me for parenting advice. I’m a step ahead of her in the “closely spaced children” arena, and – other than that – I’m not sure why she comes to me for guidance.

There was a time I thought I’d be a fantastic Mommy, but that was before I had children of my own. When I worked in residential treatment with abused and abandoned children, I had patience and understanding like no other. When I worked at day camps, I was given the difficult children because I had a way with them. When I worked with pregnant teens, helped drug dependent teens make better choices or created a resiliency program to boost the self image of elementary aged children, I was confident and comfortable!

But, the moment my first child was born, so – too – was self doubt. Only then did I begin to wonder if what I was saying was really the truth, if what I was doing was really the best thing for a child, if what I believed was really the right belief to hold when raising my own child. Only when my first child was born, did I realize that I would never walk away – my job would never be over – I would never be moving on. This one, I’d have to see to the very end. I would witness the repercussions of my decisions. I would have so many more (important) decisions to make on behalf of my children than I ever had to make before.

There is one thing I do know with the utmost certainty. And, this is probably why my friend comes to me time and time again. I have an answer for everything. I’ve read a lot of books. I have a vast amount of experiences with children in all different environments. I’ve taken a lot of courses. I majored in Psychology, minored in Family Studies, earned a Master’s in Counseling and started another Master’s in Early Childhood Education. I specialized in Play Therapy, have a certificate in Life Coaching and started my own business assisting Moms as they redefine and recreate themselves.

As I said above, I have an answer for everything, and that is: THERE'S NO GOOD ANSWER. That’s not a cop-out. It’s just the gosh darn truth. There are no absolutes when it comes to raising children. There is no one answer for any question a Mommy may ask.

The best you can do is to do your homework, talk to your friends, question professionals you trust… but, most importantly, trust your Mommy’s Intuition!