I have a strange relationship with flies. It began when I visited the Ghost Whisperer (better known and more respectively known as a Spiritual Intuitive). During my session, she hesitated before saying - "I hate to ask you this, but do you have a fly infestation?"
What's strange is that I did have a fly infestation. If you've lived in Arizona for a long time, you know that we never used to have bugs. When I first moved here in 1996, we could leave our doors and windows open without worrying about bugs.
That's not true anymore and when I was asked about a fly infestation - that was exactly what I had been experiencing in my home.
Longer and deeper story short, the flies were connected to the energy of a dear and deceased friend. No matter what you choose to believe about such 'whacko' theories - my children and I chose to engage with the notion that Cindy was visiting me.
"Mom, Cindy's here." is what they'd say when they saw a fly in the house. Again, no matter what you believe - this situation had many positive benefits in our family. One child, in particular, who would freak out when a fly buzzed in his face stopped freaking out.
Whenever I saw a fly, it was another moment that I could think of Cindy and other relatives who had passed away. It was a moment of reflection on what was happening in my life. It was an opportunity to breathe and relax during otherwise difficult moments - like, if I was yelling at my children for something.
So, no matter the Truth, we have welcomed the fly into our home and we have embraced the interpretation of what the fly's presence means.
So, almost three weeks after back surgery - and still in a position of laying around most of the time (there is a month of no prolonged sitting or standing, wearing compression socks, walking around the block when it's not so hot, etc.) - the fly has come for a visit.
Hopes have been high; recovery has been good; my eagerness for the next phase of healing has been unbounded.
And, then I was diagnosed with Shingles. This is not an uncommon occurrence after surgery when your immune system is already compromised. My breakout has occurred on my face - my chin, near my mouth. It is painful (Though, hopefully, I caught it soon enough that it won't be as excruciating as it can be.) And, you can't catch Shingles from me - but if you haven't had chicken pox or the vaccine for chicken pox - I can help you out there.
This is a day of rest and relaxation - more so than the last couple of weeks have been. A minor step back. But, not really a step back - just a realization that rest will help my body heal and, since we are stuck in the house, it might as well be a watching movies day.
As I'm laying there - reading a book on EFT (tapping) for pain relief that I have the honor of reviewing - a fly buzzes in my face. I jerk - a motion that I haven't experienced in a LONG time. And, the first reaction is fear. I can't do that. I'm going to harm myself. I'm going to re-injure my back. I'm supposed to be calm, still, and take it easy.
A few minutes later, it happens again.
And I turn the buzzing fly into a message from Cindy and my grandma. I am surrounded by love. It is ok. I am better than I was and I will continue to get better than I am. I am strong. It's all good.
As I left the room to come write this on my computer (where I am SITTING - something I hadn't done in months before the surgery), there was the fly sitting peacefully on my nightstand - guarding me (?), watching over me (?), reminding me (?)…..
It doesn't really matter what it really is (a fly annoyingly living in my house) or what you believe or what I believe…. because I have attached a new meaning that is comforting, hilarious, and helpful.
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