CRISIS (a la) MODE

I don't know how they do it. Three out of our four children should be exhausted today, and - yet - they won't take naps. Isaac (almost 20 months) had a hard time falling asleep last night. It was after 9:00 before he finally settled down. His night time routine normally starts by 6:30, but because he had taken an extra long nap, we didn't start bedtime until 7:00. Still, by 9:00, he should have been sound asleep. Instead, I was rocking and singing to him for the third time that night.

Eliana (4 months) also should have been sleeping earlier than she was. She usually falls asleep between 5:00 and 8:00 and stays asleep for 6-8 hours. Instead, I was bouncing between her and Isaac. Nursing Eliana and singing to Isaac, nursing Eliana and rocking Isaac. Putting one down and running across the house to the other one. Once she was down, she only gave me 4 hours, so I was nursing her more than usual throughout the night.

And, then there's Ilan (5 1/2 years old). He went to sleep with a nasty cough. He came out of his room SEVERAL times. His neck hurt. His stomach hurt. He had a scratch on his back. He needed "cold, cold, very cold water". We, my husband and I, were getting fed up, despite the fact that Ilan did not feel good. He finally fell asleep and when I went to check on him, I heard a terrible wheeze - in his chest.

Having grown up with an asthma allergy, I knew that sound. I hated that sound. I knew what it felt like inside - besides having difficulty taking your breath, you shut down. The little whimpering noises he was making were all too familiar. His inability to fall asleep now made sense. He just didn't know what was going on in his body to tell us. Your head is kind of in a spin. You don't feel right.

I woke him up (as best I could) and told him to cough. It didn't get better. I had David (my husband) move Ilan to our bed so we could "listen" to him all night. I knew that probably meant no sleep for me as listening to wheezing was not a pleasant experience for me.

Around midnight, Ilan woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. He was coughing and we were trying to hush him. Eliana still sleeps in our room. Oh yeah... and Aaron (four years old) was in our bed by now also. He was a fairly quick wake up and fall back asleep but he was still taking up space in our bed and was another child to worry about waking.

I took Ilan to the bathroom to steam him - the first step to stopping an asthma attack when I was a child. It didn't help and he wanted to get up off the bathroom floor where I had made him a nice "comfortable" sleeping spot, hoping he'd just fall asleep there. I took him into our back room and propped him up on the couch with blankets and pillows. I laid down on the floor with the pillow from my room, a necessity for sleeping. But, there was no sleep. He couldn't stop coughing. He couldn't stop wheezing. He wanted to go to the doctor.

I woke David and we quickly figured out he would have to take Ilan to the emergency room since I had to be available to nurse Eliana. At 4:00am, they left. At 8:00am, they returned. I had nursed twice while they were gone, responded to Aaron waking up and falling back asleep and getting Isaac at 7:00 when he woke up. Ilan had a nebulizer treatment to help him breathe. He needed it every two hours for the first four hours and then every four hours after that. Problem was, at the time of the first treatment, we were going to be at the doctor's office for Ellie's four month WELL check.

I loaded Eliana, Isaac, Ilan and the nebulizer in the car. I forgot to bring the prescription amount. I forgot to bring my cell phone. Isaac pooped in the doctor's office. I left his diapers in the car because I figured I wouldn't need them. I decided to wait until we got home to give Ilan his treatment. Once we were in the doctor's office, Eliana peed after being weighed and before I put her new diaper on. The table and crinkly paper was all wet. I didn't have dry clothes. Isaac's poop smelled. Eliana had four shots. Ilan's treatment was an hour late.

I thought when we got home, everyone would be ready for a nap. I was. I was the only one. This is crisis mode, I thought. I am exhausted. How can they not be exhausted? How can they not just pass out? I nursed Eliana about four times before she finally fell asleep (in her swing). I gave up on Isaac's nap and gathered my energy (what energy?) for dealing with his EXTREME crabbiness. Ilan lay on the couch - ready to pass out at any minute but refusing to give in - for hours.

I went and got some ice cream from the freezer. CRISIS a la MODE.