Stock Up on Patience

I often console friends who are agonizing over their child's after school behavior with these words: "they held it together all day long at school, they can't hold it together any longer".

Home becomes a safe place to unravel. Mom is an easy target for pent up energy. They know they'll still be loved despite their behavior - after all, isn't that what mom always says?

What is it we can do to help our children "hold it together" once they have returned home? Start off with an after-school snack, something with protein, something healthy. Avoid overscheduling activities. After a long day at school, some children just need to relax or play. Invite friends over. Often times, the presence of others help the end of the day crazies. Devote your time to children. Make sure you have completed any daily tasks prior to your children getting home from school. Let after school time be their time.

But, this isn't really about the children. I'm continuing with my prior thoughts - about helping my 6-year old keep it together all week. By the end of the week, it was ME who was wiped out. I had no reserve of patience left. It was a long holiday weekend and on Monday, I was raising my voice and losing my patience. I was no longer able to repeat things five times before I received a response. My "when/then" statements (when you finish taking your shower, you may get a snack) had been repeated so much, there was no longer time to have a snack. His little energy was so zapped, he would go from playing so nicely with his three-year old brother to turning him to tears before I even knew what was going on.

I had held it together all week, I just didn't have anything left. But, that's not acceptable in motherhood. You can't "lose it" with your children. It is not a safe outlet - it is an inappropriate outlet. So, what's a mother to do? How does one stock up on patience, stamina and kindness? And, what happens when you use it all up (again) and you are wiped out?

Hmmm..... I don't really have an answer.... yet.